Mad Mike Magee’s Musings

PERHAPS NOT. We will discuss this claim in detail this coming week, after having had a chance to check out some establishments in the Silicon City. ♣

FLEW OUT yesterday to Bengalaru and I was a Terminal Five virgin, because BA has finally switched practically all of its frights to the new big place at Heathrow.

I was lucky enough to be in one of the lounges and they’re certainly massive enough - you have clear views of what look like carefully cultivated acres of dull grey stones, and above you are girders, girders and more girders.

But there’s something about the place that makes you feel like you’re in a Jean-Paul Satre novel - I felt either half alive or half dead, and most of the other passengers looked that way too. And most of the staff for that matter. There’s something very very soulless about T5.

That feeling is even more pronounced in the vast shopping mall that is T5. Endless rows of glossy shops less than half full, and such a feeling of space above that you’re reduced to what you are - an insignificant little bit of data being shoved at vast expense into silvery tubes and shipped out to points on the moral compass.

And so after nine hours or so, we arrived at BIAL - you’ll recall that we were one of the first to fly out from the new Bangalore airport. Lobbed in at 4AM in the morning, we found immigration and everything else to be painless - despite large queues of people, we were all “processed” politely and swiftly so before a twitch of a lamb’s tail, we were facing the Louis Vuitton sculpture once again.

And at 4:45AM, the drive into Indiranagar from the BIAL airport was hitch free and swift - we made it back to the Centre of Laundry Excellence in only an hour and five minutes. ♣

BY MID-WEEK, I will be back in Bengaluru - a fine place.  I noticed on PR Wire that a “French Connection” shop has opened up at the airport, so I will be able to buy my Gitanes when I fly out again, no doubt.

Even though the monsoons hit India a week or two back, Bangalore remains pleasant.  The highs are acceptable and the lows mean there won’t be a huge problem freezing at night, while we still have a touch of frost here in Blighty from time to time.

We are looking forward to a resumption of the laundry wars and the 30 second walk to the orifice which actually takes 15 minutes as you wait for the opportunity to dash across the roads and become  Bengaluru road kill.

More especially, we are looking forward to chatting to our IT Examiner staff once more, and following the ancient editorial tradition, bringing them something back from our foreign trip to Blighty. Currently we have the famous “summer cold” we Brits get when the sun fails to shine in the morning. These rhinovirii are so adaptable!  ♥

I FLEW BACK from Bangalore’s new BIAL airport yesterday - but set off at Indiranagar at 1AM to catch a 6:45 fright.

While by day, Bangalore’s roads are a living nightmare, at 1AM in the morning they’re clear and I reached the airport in one hour and 15 minutes. Despite reports in the local press, the road to BIAL is pretty good, and the airport is a vast improvement on HAL.

Not everything is quite finished. The shops are half empty - the boys told me that the alcohol for the duty free area had yet to clear customs. Books don’t need to clear customs - the bookshop had hardly anything in it.

There’s a shortage of tags for hand baggage, so a queue formed of people who had almost got through security to be sent back and wait for the authorities to, presumably, print some more.

You can’t get through emigration without having a script called the user development fee which costs Rs 1,070 - you’re exempt if you’re under two years old. This has been “approved by the Ministry of Civil Aviation of India”.  And a leaflet says: “If you are paying by cash you are requested to provide exact change.” The taxi fare to the airport was over Rs 1,000 - to the old HAL airport it would have been about Rs 200.

In the small international area there’s a bar - we did fancy a beer believe it or not. Heck, yesterday was a “dry day”. What’s this in the bottom picture? Yeah, it’s a piece of “designer sculpture” set to bemuse on and all, and a stone’s throw from a Subway. Heck. The wonder that is India. ♣

IT NEVER RAINS but it pours in Ole Bengaluru - but it certainly is pouring right now. The mausam started yesterday and will continue off and on for three months or so.

And Bloody HAL! Ole HAL Bangalore airport shuts down on the 23rd, so our return fright to London will be from the new airport.

We talked to our hotel manager - you remember we are at the Centre of Laundry Excellence - and our flight is at 6:45 on Sunday from the new one. He says this is the schedule. I leave from Indiranagar at half past midnight to get to the airport about 3:30AM to make my fright.

It will cost quite a bit more than the Rs250 I paid from HAL to get there. I suppose I can sleep in the car. The traffic might be less heavy at that time in the morning. Let’s look on the bright side.

No wonder most Bangalore businessmen are choosing to drive to Chennai rather than drive three hours to the airport to get there two hours early to take an hour to fly and another hour or two to get to their destination.

I hear you ask - how about the proposed Bengaluru Metro? There is no completion date for that. Must check out the hotels near the new airport so I can make a staggered journey next time round. ♣

THEY’VE DECLARED a three day ban on alcohol here in Ole Bangalore, because there’s elections tomorrow and perhaps the authorities fear everyone will get a little overexcited.

Not just bars and pubs, hotel bars too, although guests with hotels with mini-bars might be OK. The drought ends on Sunday. Sheesh! Forewarned should have been forearmed!  The local Midday newspaper reported 300 people have been thrown in clink for buying or selling illicit hooch. ♦